My Journey With MS and Queerness

I live my life out loud. That’s not just a slogan, it’s a promise I’ve made to myself. I don’t closet any part of who I am. I am queer. I live with Multiple Sclerosis. And I am proud of both truths, even when the world tries to make me feel otherwise. 

Being diagnosed with MS was a seismic shift. It’s a disease that doesn’t ask permission—it barges in, rearranges your life, and dares you to keep going. And I do. Every day. But what’s made this journey even more complex is navigating it as a queer person in a world that still struggles with acceptance. 

The Power of Being Seen 

From the beginning, I knew I couldn’t hide. I didn’t want to. I’ve spent too many years watching people shrink themselves to fit into boxes that were never built for them. I refuse to do that. My queerness is not a footnote; it’s a vibrant, essential part of who I am. And my MS diagnosis doesn’t diminish that. If anything, it’s made me more determined to live authentically. 

There’s a strange kind of power in being fully seen. When I walk into a room, I bring all of me. I don’t separate my identities. I don’t downplay my symptoms. I don’t pretend I’m someone I’m not to make others comfortable. That kind of honesty can be confronting for some, but it’s also liberating. 

Finding the Right Medical Team

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that your medical team matters. Deeply. You need doctors who see you, not just your symptoms. You need professionals who understand that your identity impacts your health, your stress levels, your access to care, and your comfort in clinical settings. 

I surround myself with providers who are open, affirming, and curious. They ask questions. They listen. They don’t flinch when I talk about my partner or my pronouns. They treat me like a whole person. And that makes all the difference. 

If you’re navigating MS or any chronic condition, while also being LGBTQIA+, I urge you to find a team that respects you. Don’t settle for less. You deserve care that honors every part of who you are. 

The Weight of Words

I wish I could say that the hardest part of this journey has been physical symptoms. But sometimes, it’s the whispers that hurt the most. 

There have been moments, quiet, cruel ones, when people close to me have muttered things like, “Maybe she got MS because she’s gay. Maybe the Lord is punishing her.” They don’t say it to my face. They say it under their breath, behind closed doors, in ways that are meant to wound without being held accountable. 

Let me be clear: MS is not a punishment. Queerness is not a sin. And anyone who tries to link the two is projecting their own fear and ignorance. 

I don’t carry their shame. I carry my own power. I carry self-love, respect, and a fierce belief that I am bold, brave, and beautiful, inside and out. 

Choosing Joy

Living with MS means navigating fatigue, pain, and unpredictability. But it also means choosing joy in the midst of it all. I dance when I can. I laugh loudly. I wear bright colors. I organize events that bring people together. I tell my story. I write. I advocate. I love. 

I’ve built a life that reflects my values: authenticity, inclusion, and celebration. I’ve created spaces where people can show up as they are disabled, queer, questioning, messy, magnificent. And I’ve learned that vulnerability is not weakness. It’s strength. 

Advice for Others 

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling whether with MS, identity, or both, know that you’re not alone. Here’s what I’ve learned: 

• Be honest. With yourself, with your doctors, with your community. Honesty builds trust and connection. 

• Find your people. Seek out support groups, online communities, friends who get it. You don’t have to do this alone. 

• Advocate fiercely. You deserve care that respects your whole self. Don’t be afraid to speak up. 

• Celebrate yourself. Every part of you is worthy. Your queerness, your diagnosis, your resilience, they’re all part of your magic. 

• Reject shame. Anyone who tries to make you feel small is not your people. Let them go. You’re here to shine. 

Living Out Loud

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. MS is unpredictable. Life is unpredictable. But I do know this: I will continue to live out loud. I will continue to be visible. I will continue to challenge stigma and celebrate identity. 

Because I am not a tragedy. I am a triumph. 

I am bold.
I am brave.
I am beautiful—inside and out. 

And I’m just getting started. 

Can Do MS Voices shares the personal stories of people living with MS, their care partners, and the professionals who support them. These stories remind us that no two MS journeys are alike, but together, we can learn, grow, and find strength in community. 

If you have a story you’d like to share, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us at info@cando-ms.org to be part of Can Do MS Voices.